I love vanilla ice cream, ergo, it must be bad.

Y’know, you read all these polls saying vanilla is the most popular flavor of ice cream (Here’s one). But what if you don’t like it?  What if, I don’t know, you’re allergic to vanilla, or ice cream, or for whatever reason you crave papaya sherbet?

Papaya sherbet!  “It’s so damned good!” you tell yourself, “and these people stuck in a vanilla wasteland won’t ever know because they won’t even try it”, you pout, because a secret is only worthwhile if you share it until it not only is no longer a secret but because you lit the flame and have popularized it. After all, you know something no one else knows, which is absolutely worthless unless someone else knows it (not actually the case for insider trading, which carries up to a 20 year sentence and $5 million fine, but I digress).

Another thing you know is that nothing sells, of course, like success.  When something is trending or already popular, people flock to it in droves even if it’s only a flash in the pan. So the question then, is how does one go about making papaya sherbet popular?

Pick someone high profile who likes vanilla ice cream. Someone who has a strong opinion about anything, or who once made a mistake (or worse), someone with a statistically small trait be it physical, cultural, financial, or geographic.

Next, simply let the demonization take over. “This person is bad!  He has red hair! He worships at the temple of vanilla ice cream! You don’t want to be like him and all the other vanilla ice cream lovers, do you? Do you?“

Now, here’s your real stratigem: Before he has a chance to even ask “What the hell are you even talking about?” be on your next victim. And it’s OK, because hey it’s not personal, the target is vanilla ice cream remember.  These folks shouldn’t get hurt but if they do, they are merely casualties. Side effects, if you will. Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet, right? “She’s from Mexico, and she LOVES vanilla ice cream. That vanilla devotee looks Jewish! Don’t even get me started on black people eating all the white ice cream.”

Well, to be sure, you’ve started something, but it’s all without purpose until the appropriate strategic timing of your real goal: The unveiling of the papaya sherbet. “These people are bad, and they like vanilla ice cream. Don’t be bad. Don’t be like them. You’re not one of them, are you? ARE YOU? Be like the good people eating papaya sherbet. Be GOOD!  EAT PAPAYA SHERBET!”

Congratulations!  You’ve just started a culture war.  But you can attack the wealthy, or the poor on the same basis and make it socio-economic if you wish. Stirring hatred is so versatile!

Now, what I want you to do by the way here, is swap in a couple of terms. Let’s say for vanilla ice cream, you swap in…I dunno, fact, or truth, or science.  I’ll give you a menu with options.

NOW: For papaya sherbet, let’s swap in lies, or conspiracies, or ignorance. Your call.

And remember, truth doesn’t die when someone lies.  Truth only dies when someone accepts, and then ultimately spreads, said lie. So research. Stop presenting what you believe as fact. Stop sharing stories that are false and hiding behind “I don’t believe this link I am sharing below” because still, you have spread it around. You have literally helped to make it go viral.

Our relationship with the truth is reciprocal.  We need truth…and truth needs us.

Otherwise, we’ll be stuck with papaya sherbet, which don’t get me wrong, is amusing once in a while, and not without its place…but is neither a fallback nor a substitute for vanilla ice cream.

(NB: If the flavors don’t ring true for you personally, pick your own, I don’t care. The point is what I hope rings true).

Peace.

 

A holiday message from within…and without

I want to preface this post by reminding those of you who do know and telling those of you who do not that I am secular, and proudly so.  I look for no judgment one way or the other, it’s nothing to be pitied or congratulated, it’s just part of who I am and what makes me…well, me. 

That said, here we are, literally in the midst of Holy Week for practicing Christians of most stripes, and the very Erev Pesach – the eve of Passover. Now I am also not only secular, but a proud cultural Jew as well. So I want to share with you the thought that no matter what you believe – or don’t – there are lessons for each of us from our forebears merely because they were human, and we are human, and the human condition and experience are timeless.

It feels weird this year, doesn’t it? Where are the congregants? Where is the family? Is the struggle to remain connected and cohesive new and uncertain territory?  Will we ultimately be successful…or succumb?

This remind you of anyone? The Hebrews entered the desert after having been freed from the bonds of slavery…but were they really freed that quickly merely by leaving? They wandered 40 years in a desert that should have taken weeks to cross. Was their real freedom in their growth, never forgetting what they left behind, but embracing a future they knew they could endure if they went through it together?

I like this idea. The idea that one generation has seen, had participated in, has accepted the way things are…and they struggle to accept the change they themselves may be incapable as a unit to forge. However it is another generation’s quest and charge to not only embrace that change, but to affect it. To lead the way into the promised land, which of course is the land of the future, where all promise, all hope, all reward is stowed for our just desserts.

Today, as in weeks past and weeks forward, we wait, we struggle, we hope that this cloud of mighty pestilence passes over our house. Can we ward it off simply by being good people?  We cannot.  Innocents have already been taken, and the holes left in our lives hurts. More will fall into the chasm, which many of us interpret as an abyss as it is seemingly endless and with no acceptable reason.

Others, of course, will do what it is we can by embracing the new rule as handed us for our consideration and action: Stay socially distant.  Disinfect. Wash your hands! As did the tribes travel separately but part of a greater whole, we are socially distant. As the one generation lived out their days free from the house of Egypt yet in the limbo of the desert, while the next generation purifies who they are and what they stand for, we disinfect. And the washing of the hands?  This one speaks for itself.  It is part of ritual, part of every generation’s good lessons, and part of what keeps us alive in the future.  No less than Jesus himself washed the feet of his own disciples!

If you are Jewish, as am I, you can relate to the above; if you are Christian, this very moment of ressurectory celebration sure must speak to you!  Even as we wait in dark wonder for the passage of this most terrible plague, we can’t help but note the annual, almost ritualistic springing forth of colors, of new life, of the cyclical nature of existence.

This is not our first pandemic, dear friends, by any stretch. Will it be our last? In some ways, plainly, the answer is no…but in other ways, I suggest that answer us up to us – not only as individuals, but most especially, as a single people.

Have a safe and healthy holiday, whatever you celebrate, and however you celebrate it, and if you celebrate nothing prescribed by any liturgy, then happy spring.

This house of the faithless has, as it turns out, a great and deep faith indeed!

Peace and love,

The news is not all bad…or good.

I’m not the type to post just a headline without comment; I don’t think of myself as a news source as much as a bit of a provocateur. The idea is to give folks something to think about. Only through independent thought and education can we exceed the bonds of intellectual, spiritual, and cultural limitation and reach true enlightenment in these areas. To that end, I always try to be honest and honorable; I cite sources, I make it obvious what is my opinion vs established fact, and I try hard not to denigrate people merely for feeling or thinking differently (and am generally, I think, successful).

This long preamble to some sobering statistics with comment on the other side:

As of 8:45 Thursday morning, 955,000+ people worldwide have the virus with some 48,500+ dead. By day’s end, it will be a million people with it and over 50,000 dead.

In the US, 215,000+ have the virus, and 5,100+ dead; by the end of tomorrow, a quarter million Americans will have it. There are many hot spots now and it is growing rapidly not just in New York and New Jersey but across the country – Florida, Louisiana, and Michigan to name but three but no place is immune.

The above stats courtesy of https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/

Between last week and this week, approximately 10 million Americans have filed for unemployment, and the rate is rising – twice this week what it was last week per the weekly jobless claims just posted. According to Statista (https://www.statista.com/statistics/191750/civilian-labor-force-in-the-us-since-1990/), there were just over 163 million Americans who were considered part of the workforce in 2019, so this represents about 7.5% of the workforce thrown out of work.

It’s not good, and we haven’t reached bottom yet – we likely have weeks or longer to go before reaching peak, but I don’t want to cause fear or panic: Perhaps some significant breakthroughs can be made within the next two weeks.

So what’s the point then? There’s always a point, it’s one of perspective.

I want to remind you all that our lowest spot we reach collectively is the opportunity for the greatest positive change. I want to remind people that despite the enduring pain, physical and emotional, accompanying a pandemic, the sun rises each day – and somewhere on this planet is shining. That life, even when stifled, goes on. Not every life, but life itself. This is the nature of things.

So then while I hope this is comforting, my aim in saying these things is not to provide comfort. It’s to provide perspective.

This transcends your individual politics. If you feel you on your own you can attack and beat this virus without aid and help from others, you’re welcome to try, I suppose…but you can’t. If you feel you can wish it away, you’re welcome to try…but you can’t.

The answer, of course, is for all of us to work together. Towns, states, and yes, countries. We need leadership, and we need trust. Will there always be bad actors looking for opportunities to take advantage in bad times? Of course there will. This is the time, though, to do what you know to be the the right thing because what helps the world DOES help you and your family because you are all part of the world. Now is the time to take whatever gifts you have – you have them, you know – and step up to the table and plead for your chance to contribute (if you have to; likely you won’t have to plead).

In this household, our outreach has been not only to provide distraction but some sense of routine and even dare I say normalcy. Of course nothing about these circumstances is normal, but if you know and can depend on what we are sharing, for whom, and when we are sharing it, if we establish a schedule not only for you but for ourselves, and can be counted on to provide comfort, philosophy, entertainment, distraction, and above all soul renewing art, we feel it represents a normal for now. I have decided I no longer will use the term “new normal” because this is a temporary normal, but “normal for now” will have to do until someone comes up with something more pithy.

What do you bring to the table? Is it a sense of humor? Compassion? Do you have skills others need – can you advise on resource management, on emotional support, on home repair? There is nothing not needed, and you too can be a part of easing the path for so many, many people. You’ll be helping yourself at the same time.

By the time this pestilent cloud has passed over, no one will be unaffected. Some of us will have known and/or lamented someone who has succumbed to COVID-19. Some of us will lose loved ones. Some of us may not even see the light of day. This isn’t a call to despair, or surrender. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

Life is precious precisely because it is finite! I beg you, please, make your life as meaningful as possible by smoothing out the rough road for others. By helping this pass more quickly, whether through scientific contribution to a cure or vaccine, or by providing joy in a woeful chapter, you will be saving lives…possibly including your own.

In our town, we have developed a mantra, #onemetuchen. It’s time we also think of ourselves as each having a role to play in #oneworld.

Please be safe and stay healthy!

WHO STANDS TO BENEFIT?

WHO STANDS TO BENEFIT?

I am not big on conspiracy theories, and I want it plain I am NOT pushing this as one. That said:

Backers of our Criminal-in-Chief including, but not limited to Rush Limbaugh, HAVE been pushing the theory that the Coronavirus has been “weaponized”, and worse that it is a conspiracy to be used against the President. I’m not kidding (https://www.politico.com/…/trump-backers-coronavirus-conspi…)

So what I DID want to post then is a way to combat those conspiracy theorists. I am not suggesting you push it, but you can say something like, “Well, it’s as likely as THIS” or, “You think so? How about THIS?” and then hit them with the following:

The market, Trump’s gold standard of indicators (and hence his supporters, too), has now gone into correction territory in just four days, having fallen almost 3400 points exclusively on the fears (unknowns) of this virus.

So what does this mean? It means, among other things, that you and I, casual or modest investors, lost a good chunk of our retirement this week, though in the long run I am sincerely not worried. It ALSO means there is a massive buying opportunity…IF you have enough dough and a broad enough event horizon that you can afford to wait.

Now, who exactly has so much dough and enough time to see things turn around? That’s right: The people who have the most and need the least. Millionaires. Billionaires. Those Godzillionaires. The 1%, and of course, the 1/10th of 1%.

And they’re laughing all the way down the road paved with gold to the bank awaiting them just a few weeks, or months, into the future. And who took the hit? You and me.

So who do you think really planned and/or used this virus? THINK ABOUT WHO BENEFITS.

Now again, I am not saying I endorse this as a conspiracy…but when you start hearing from others that it’s a liberal plot, and you know the truth won’t work because truth is dead, hit ’em with this. YOU know the truth.

You’re welcome.

Well…how did I get here?

An observation and opinion (or in modern media terms, news and comment) which on the surface is about politics, but layers deep is about philosophy and values:

The job stats were released this morning. The raw surface numbers are quite good. Now I am not gonna get into what it really means, the “Yes buts…”, or who it’s good for.

No, what sparked this observation was a comment from a talking head (sorry the non musical kind) who said:

This is what Democrats are looking for: Someone who can produce this sort of economy, sustained, without the bad, boorish behavior who doesn’t poke his thumb in the eye of the American people. Now that was not verbatim, it was a paraphrase, but yeah that’s what was said – I am sure some of you saw it.

That’s not happening, folks. We are where we are, and contextually I am talking about economically, because we as a society have chosen money as the priority over the loftier values.

To be sure, this is a struggle and it has been enduring and endless for over 100 years, since the end of America’s Second Industrial Revolution. It goes to the very heart of Capitalism – these concepts applied before but the efficiency with which they could be implemented has been exponential and we simply cannot keep up with the advances emotionally or even in this writer’s opinion morally – that would require some sort of purity which few people have (and which can be bastardized, leading us astray into fascism or worse).

There are simply too many people for whom the goal is to have more this year than last year – no matter how much they had last year. How many among us – don’t answer here, ask and answer inside your head and heart – truly say, “I have enough for me and mine; I need to help take care of people who need what I have more than I do?” How many people’s cup runneth over, only to let the excess drain into the gutter or worse stagnate rather than to irrigate the crops of our future?

And how many people will tell you that very concept is un or anti-American?

So what you must decide is manifold but all related. Again, answer yourselves, not me, your answer may be hard earned and is none of my business. No one is holier than anyone else. What are your goals? How much is enough? Is what happens to you financially more important than what happens to others, and to what end will that lead?

Look let me not be hypocritical: We had a great year last year economically, as did most people with some form of retirement account with broad based investments. I am not unhappy to have done well…but do we need every year to return 18.5%? No, realistically, we do not. Is every year GOING to reach that return? No, of course not. However, if we had an average return of just over half that and were able – as a society, not individually – to ensure that what might have been the balance otherwise would be directed towards taking care of the planet and its inhabitants, why that would be something!

Until the time, however, that we choose to stop praying at the alter of greed in favor of a more egalitarian and just society, the pit stop we find ourselves in we shall be mired in for the foreseeable future.

Don’t be depressed: Take your love, your virtue, your sense of justice, and apply…liberally.

Peace!

In defense of the non-existent Socialism.

NB I read a post today – technically a repost – of a young woman’s treatise about what’s wrong with her Socialist leaning generation.  I don’t especially wish to reprint the piece because I don’t want half of my column taken up by reprinting someone else’s words.  However, the specific areas I take exception with have been quoted, and I think you’ll get the gist; if not, and if I hear from more than one or two people, sure, I will post a link to it. Or you can find it yourself (but don’t post it here!) Her name is Alyssa Ahlgren and it was written April 6, 2019.  It’s very well written, an enjoyable read, and based on a false premise in this author’s opinion. Following, then, my rebuttal:

You know, there ARE truisms in here – many truisms. That’s why it’s important to recognize and not take the bait of a false premise. When an entire argument is built on such a premise, it is subject to being toppled and exposed for what it is.

“Democratic candidates calling for policies to “fix” the so-called injustices of capitalism”? I reject that notion utterly. The author further makes the clear implication – worse, she wants the reader to draw what she considers an incontrovertible inference – to the idea that our system is binary, that it is either Capitalism or it is Socialism.

However, I know – I mean, I KNOW – that most of our shared acquaintances reading this thread know that is simply and factually untrue. We do not, and never have, lived under a purely capitalist system, and that very few – and certainly none of the candidates running for the Presidency – want true Socialism, either. Even the dreaded Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders, by far the closest candidate to Socialist is not truly a Socialist.

The fact of the matter is, we live under a hybrid system. “Isms” don’t care if you believe in them, favor them, or live under them; the sole function of any ism, be it Capitalism or Socialism is it’s own existence. And the truth is we perish if we do not have one to temper the other. I for one am just as happy to know there are police, libraries, firefighters, garbage pickup, interstates, recycling, and yes, public education financed by my taxes, and I am willing to bet that’s another thing that people take for granted – not just by the young millennials (or Generation Z) or Democratic Socialists, but by the older generation as well.

“We live in the most privileged time in the most prosperous nation and we’ve become completely blind to it?” Well, pardon me for splitting hairs, but I actually preferred the prospects of about 20 years ago. Still, the larger point isn’t lost on me, but I don’t agree with the assessment of being completely blind to it. A more deeply rooted problem than her finger wagging would suggest is that while yes there is the whiff of entitlement we might smell among the next generation (not YOUR kid, of course) other parents (aside from anyone reading this of course) are responsible for that feeling.

We live in a country where the ethos AND THE PRACTICE has been that every generation should have more, and live better, than their parents…but no one stopped to think at what point that would become unhealthy. Perhaps it was at the point where our material wealth apexed with the speed of technology.

“Yet, in a time where we can order a product off Amazon with one click and have it at our doorstep the next day, we are unappreciative, unsatisfied, and ungrateful.” Perhaps the problem is our willingness to support Amazon, because we place our own convenience so far ahead of a healthy and responsible society and then have the indecency to hide behind Capitalism to justify it.

The truth is, we are not oppressed by Capitalism, we are oppressed by bad actors, and those bad actors have existed and will always exist under any political and/or economic system, and they are fueled by greed, a lust for power, and a sense of superiority. In other words, entitlement…driven by ego. In the final analysis, it’s all ego.

If we can be intellectually honest with ourselves, even if it’s only in our most alone, private moments when we admit things to ourselves that we dare not say out loud, you’ll have to admit that people clamoring to clean up the environment and provide some guarantee on a minimum standard of healthcare, and access to education and opportunity aren’t evil or even misguided. Most of them are willing to work, but resent the “haves” being fearful of the “have nots” to the point of oppression.

Look, I’m not a Socialist although some of you will paint me that way falsely and that’s fine, but think about this: The whole reason I DO want to help others is precisely because I DO appreciate all I have.

As for Ms. Ocasio-Cortez, all I can say about her is that she’s green. No, not just environmentally green, but so new to the scene she’s naive, but is also representative of a new energy, she’s smart as a whip, and has a good heart. I hope she will become more tempered so she can effect some real goodness and positive change, but I’m really talking about a much bigger picture here than one single person (who’s not even running).

Ultimately, people, the answer to the conundrum that is our society as well as just about every single issue you want to address, is balance. The tools must be empathy, compassion, desire, and education.

Trump’s Genius: The truth about fact and the fact about truth

The other day, I overheard two people beginning a conversation, two people I see with some regularity.  Of course, this being January 2nd, the conversation began with a greeting:

“I haven’t seen you in a year!”

I couldn’t help myself.  I should have, but I couldn’t: “That’s not true.  You haven’t seen her since last year – that’s true.  However, you DID just see her last week.”

Now, he acknowledged I was correct, and yes, of course I know he was only being friendly and cute, but here’s why I couldn’t help myself:  I sincerely feel that a) words matter, and b) communication is a two part process –  transmission and reception.

Further, I also feel that a breakdown in communication is a huge part of why we are where we are.

Now, of course we cannot control how someone receives that which we transmit, entirely, but we can partially because we choose our words.  To choose them less than carefully is potentially dangerous, disrespectful (perhaps, even, to the point of being contemptuous), and/or uncaring.

Now yes, of course, that might seem a bit severe, or that perhaps I take myself a bit too seriously (and perhaps I do!), but sincerely, I really feel in a world where some people use communication as a tool to manipulate others in their quest for personal gain, we must be mindful, ever vigilant, and most especially aware!  Communication is but an expression of ideas and while I am all for the intimate, the artistic, the soaring heights we can be brought to via all sorts of communicative expression – not just words, but music, arts, and actions as well – I do feel we serve ourselves and our society better when we stay just this side of a jaundiced eye’s distance from digesting that which we are spoon fed.  I am not suggesting we not accept the words of a trusted source, but i AM suggesting that anything we are willing to accept as truth should be subject to the light of scrutiny.

I have realized recently that there IS more than one truth.  I had always relied on there being ONE truth, something I could always hang my hat on.  Turns out, I am not so sure this is the case any longer.  There is but one set of provable facts, and while facts are certainly related, facts are not always what the truth is comprised of.

Truth, one might think, is immutable, consistent, literally a reasonable goal, and beauty. As Keats said, in Ode to a Grecian Urn “Beauty is truth, and truth beauty”

Beauty, however, is subjective.  What some find beautiful, others find offensive.  Some can see beauty and ugliness in the same thing, material or philosophical. Taoists might even conclude there is no beauty without ugliness; ergo, there is no truth without untruth.  Those flowers look even better next to those monsters, don’t they?  Because contrast so often provides context.  Don’t let go of that, it’s relevant.

Now then: the average person likes feeling good, no?  We want to be right, we want to feel good, we actually need some sense of stability or security.  So what if truth were created based on the feeling you expect when being served with truth?  Yes, it’s not atypical for us to hear some fact – which we mistake for truth – and react.  We react, positively or negatively, to facts! Truth, however, has been redefined as a construct in order to ferret out the beauty – after all, truth is beauty – and all those feelings accompanying it.

So one might interpret the goal of truth, of beauty, to be the ensuing feelings attached.  From an efficiency standpoint, it not only makes sense, it is beauty in and of itself.  If you have the feelings exclusively associated with truth and beauty, you must be experiencing truth and beauty, after all!  Ergo, it stands to reason that anything designed to make you exude those feelings must be truth.

This then is the paradox: beauty is subject to interpretation, but truth – for some of us – is not.  For some of us, however, it is.

For some,  truth is objective, and fact based. Those facts, in context, might lead to more than one conclusion, but in an asset versus liability, unemotional vacuum, one is often able to discern an entire (or at least more complete) picture of what the truth really is.  Not all facts are necessarily congruent, but the facts are surrounded by other facts leading to a conclusion.

For others, however, truth is comprised of that which makes them feel beautiful – in control of the facts, on the receiving end of communication of a transmission designed, in all of it’s interpretative confusion and obfuscation, not to coincide with fact; it is not surrounded by fact, but still provides a feeling of beauty.  Any facts attached are either coincidental or utilized for the advancement of promoting an emotional stability, security, and toward that end, beauty.  This is a transactional truth.

Transactional truth: When party A, the Transmitter, sizes up what party B, the Receiver, wants – even needs – to hear, and says it, they have, between the both (or many) of them constructed, condoned, participated in, and perpetuated a truth that has nothing to do with fact.

Mr. Trump is party A.  As of today, 42.5% of poll respondents in the aggregate, according to Real Clear Politics, represent party B (I cannot give more breakdown as to precisely who is included since this is a rolling poll of polls, and includes ever changing data over the past month on any given day).

Whether or not you accept Trump’s base as all 42.5%, or if you think he has the approval currently of his base plus a bit more, there is a solid chunk of people in this country who have a truth very real to them that is not the truth you might be experiencing as you read this.  Now we all have access to the same facts, and those facts are facts, and not withstanding the context of perspective, are immutable if historical or numerical. Some can be interpreted; many cannot.

That global climate change is occurring is a perfect example; recent experience, empirical evidence, historic patterns, and scientifically sound projections all lead to the same conclusion, and it is one of both fact and truth…unless you choose to reject fact, or to so grossly reinterpret fact into something that fits your end goal of feeling truth one can believe rather than knowing the truth which fact has led us to.

In short, Stephen Colbert’s concept of “truthiness” was spot on, if not ahead of it’s time, and as a prescient harbinger of that which was to follow and haunts us to this very day (and throughout tomorrow), I leave you with this clip from his very first episode of The Colbert Report, back in 2005: Ladies and gentlemen, please take a moment to recall “Truthiness”

It’s the Time of the Season for Loving

With apologies to the Zombies for the use of their lyric – I love the song so much I might just link to it at the end of this post – it dawns on me that’s just what it is.  Sometimes, though, we forget.

I have just started seeing the first of the expressions of despair so many people associate with the holidays.  I won’t take away from that or invalidate anyone’s feelings; the holiday season can be a painful reminder of lost loved ones, of loneliness, inadequacy, a reminder of how little was accomplished in the face of our goals, and so much more.

Please put that aside for a moment.  I’d like to remind you of an accomplishment which, if you’re reading this, no one can take away from you:  You made it here. However old you are, you made it to the end of another year – arbitrary chronological marker though that be, it’s another cycle around the sun that you have survived.  Not everyone was so lucky.  And as a reminder – though I really am NOT a Billy Joel fan (and I will NOT link to this song at the end) – in his tune “Angry Young Man”, Joel reminds us that “…just surviving was a noble fight”.   And you know, the older I get, the more that rings true. It IS a big deal!

Someone just this morning posted a feeling of unworthiness.  I want to tell you something: You have worth.  You have worth, and value, and what’s more, potential to contribute to a future brighter than the present we currently share.  I have heard  and seen expressions of sadness and depression, often stemming from loss.  I get it.  I am so thankful of course I still have both parents and both of my siblings as well as my children…but the last three years alone has included the passing of two aunts, two uncles, cousins, and too, too many friends – I won’t dwell, because so many of you know this.  I mention this because the past three years has also seen joyous passages – unions, births, first steps and words, coming of age ceremonies, all part of the cycle we arbitrarily note via trips around the sun.  Maybe it’s not so arbitrary.  Seasons come, and seasons go.  Seeds take root, and sprout, flourish, flowers bloom, wilt, and eventually, die.  Others replace them, looking very much – but not exactly – the same.  We are so much like them!

Not in all ways, though:  We have independent thought. We weigh good and bad, we decide that which is just and unjust, we categorize for better or worse, and we are social beings.  Yes, this very month and-a-half long period I lost three friends and an uncle, but you know, last year our family expanded with the addition of a niece (in the form of a wedding), and next year our first great niece or nephew will arrive.  We have seen growth, and transition, we have witnessed twists, turns, and metamorphoses, not always pretty, but this is the nature of things:  Change. Change from without, and change from within.

Now, I have learned as an extension, that in general, when we learn to give up the need for control, we are to an extent liberated. No further need exists for micromanagement, we are more at peace without the false need to claim responsibility for the whole world (or even that in our purview), and we are more able to live life in the moment.  Our energies are best spent on that little bit we can control rather than that which we cannot:  Our actions, and our reactions.  Anything else is an application of force.  Think about that: Imposing your will, engineering an outcome, engaging frivolous battles which you know in advance will never yield positive outcome, are all unnecessary expenditures of time and energy.  It’s all a form of forcing.  Free your body, mind, and spirit!  We’re not meant to force, for that’s how things break. The willow bends in the wind because it is flexible; other trees do not sway with the wind, rather are upright and stalwart at all times, and you are more likely to collect more broken bits of them from the earth’s floor after a storm.  Forcing lay outside the circle connecting us all.

We are human beings!  We change!  How we change, however, can be a reflection of the forcing, which leads to disease.  Quite literally, dis-ease.  However, we can also choose to change by growing, by making this world better for others.  The dividends are immediate, and deep.  In this way, our changes can be the actions we take as a function of our reactions to that which we can not control.  Are some people hungry?  Yes.  Is it your fault? Probably not.  Can you choose despair?  Can you blame someone?  Sure.  You can also feed someone.  You can buy someone a sandwich, deliver a meal, plant a garden – an all new sort of victory garden, dedicated to feeding others.

My friends, I know it’s a tough time of year.  I know despair is right around the corner, with a hand on your shoulder, with a false invitation including, seemingly, relief. Don’t give in.  Don’t you dare give in.  The struggle is worth it because YOU are worth it.  And if you need a hand, whether I know you or not, reach out.  I might not have what you need, but you don’t know, you might need what I do have.  And it’s NOT because I’m a good person.  It’s because YOU are.

Please, please, be of good cheer – and if you need a hand, consider this your invitation.

One last thing: That link I promised: The Zombies Time of the Season

Death, and Life, and Some Stuff in Between

You know, this has been a tough year for a lot of people.

And death is a tough thing for almost all people, and so very often, especially the people left behind.

To assess, as we approach the end of this year, the world appears, it feels, less stable and more volatile, than at any point in my lifetime.  The most confusing aspect of it all, perhaps, is that I am at such peace. My head is exploding in every direction at once, yet I have a calm, and even a numbing clarity if that makes sense, that sure must be depicted in the writing of this blog entry: Normally, I can make a paragraph last more than three sentences.

Who can count the number of passages and transitions this year?  Likely, almost nobody. It’s the end.  Now, I don’t mean that in a morbid way.  I don’t mean to be fatalistic, or mercurial for that matter, it’s just a fact.  At the end, we die.  That’s why it’s the end.  So what is the meaning of life?  We need to ask the people we left behind.

To my fatalist friends who do ponder the idea that if we’re all to die anyway, and especially if you accept we are tiny specs, less than ants, in the scheme of the universe, why does our existence matter, I say: You’ll never know.  You have to ask the people you left behind, but you haven’t left them behind until you are dead.  You don’t need to know.

Here is a truism, and it describes a philosophical metamorphosis which continues in me to this very day (literally, there was some growth and realization today):  When I was young, I wanted to be the richest, most famous guy ever in the whole wide world.  One day, I realized that ever is a long time, and that the whole world is indeed wide.  I thought, “Well, OK, the country.  The country ought to do it”, but soon after I realized that riches are fleeting and as easily lost as found, and that if you have the fame, the name recognition, people are happy to take care of you anyway.  Goodbye, untold wealth.  No problem, I was now free of that shackle.  As for the whole country, I thought, “Hey, east of the Mississippi will be fine.  After all, we got DC, Philly, NYC, Boston, not to mention Nashville, Detroit, Miami, and a ridiculous abundance of farmland, forestry, shoreline…what more do you need?”

Well, you can do the math from here.  East of the Mississippi became the tri-state area (I consider that NJ, NY, PA), but that soon became just NJ.

That’s when it hit me:  If I were the most popular dad in the house, that would be enough.  Who could want more?  That’s the best thing I could be…and, with a bit of love, and care, and respect, should be attainable.

I was out walking Zoey this afternoon when a corollary dawned on me:  When it’s my time – no, as far as I know, it’s not coming anytime soon – it doesn’t really matter to me if I am remembered.  I mean, I am still alive for awhile, as far as I know, and I’d like to think maybe I shall survive the first ten minutes, but my point is, eventually my name will fade, my image will fade, even the legacy of books, music, and writing will be lost to history.

What I want to last is my message, and if it is attributed to anyone other than me, or everyone other than me, I don’t care.

I want my time left to be devoted to making other people’s lives a better place to grow and play.  And it doesn’t mean every waking moment of the day, I’m not a saint, I have limited capacity, but I am not setting the bar low or entering into a contract with a back door or making an excuse.  I’m a human being, and I need burn out time, and I need to amuse myself and my innermost circle, and I need to devote my energies, large and small, to pictures large and small too, because the big picture to me might not be the big picture to you, and what you consider small or meaningless might be my entire world.

But if I work in the service of promoting peace, love, and justice, and it rubs off on somebody, or if it is remembered and the mantle picked up, I don’t care if you attach my name to it or not.

In the past five weeks – FIVE WEEKS! – I lost two high school friends and my beloved uncle Arthur (Mom’s brother).  Earlier in the year, I lost my wonderful and brilliant aunt Edythe (Pop’s sister).  I have yet another high school friend who likely won’t be around to celebrate New Year’s Day – I hope I’m wrong, provided he is not in pain – and yet this old world keeps turning.

It’s a world that has grown increasingly tough to understand, too.  What’s going on here in the States; what’s happening at our borders, at the borders of our border countries, and, of course, abroad.  We have focused on what divides us and celebrate our splits.  We have forgotten that diversity and splits are not the same thing; we stopped looking for our commonalities within our different cultures.

Here’s the biggest commonality of all: We all have a specific beginning, and we shall all have an ending.  I want everything in between to be filled with as much joy as possible, and in my case that means facilitating as much joy as possible unto as many others as possible.

So here’s something I think, but this varies for each person so I won’t say I know it: The sad part about the passing of someone you know or love is that we miss them.  There’s some nothingness there now where they used to be, because our initial reaction is to notice empty physical space rather than to be aware of the love inside you that was bestowed by them.  You are their legacy.  You are their meaning.

Another thing is that it’s fine to mourn, but I cannot mourn forever. I still miss Aunt Edythe, Kurt, Uncle Arthur, Kristin, and that’s just this year.  I also mourn the lost opportunity of being able to connect or reconnect with people that held nothing but goodness inside them.  But I know this:  Next year, the first of a new generation in my family is to be born. A new generation!  The circle, dotted line though it be, shall be unbroken.  There is loss, but there is birth, there is grief, but there is joy.  In the scheme of cosmic balance, perhaps this is as it’s meant to be.  I don’t know what was meant to be.  I know what is.  It is what it is. I am that I am.  We are lofty and grounded all at once.

I don’t know.  This isn’t the blog post I set out to write, but honestly I didn’t know what I’d be writing about anyway.  If it did some good for you, than good for me, too. Writing it was still good for me anyway.

Peace.

Dirty Secrets and the Marketing of Capitalism

Prior to the “meat” of this blog, I issue this forward/disclaimer: It so happens I know several folks with oodles of dough.  Most of those I associate with are not only good and decent people, they use their resources in much the same way I’d like to think I would if I had access to those resources.  Some more than others, of course, but almost none who see collecting piles of money as a competitive sport.

I wrote the nut of this post as a response to someone else’s question on Facebook – namely: “Can anyone explain to me why conservatives believe we are moving towards socialism?…I don’t understand the thought process and was wondering if anyone else understands the strategy of labelling the Democrats as socialists.”

I am no more versed on this than anyone else, but I have spent some time observing and thinking about it, so if you’ll indulge the layman’s point of view:

First of all, the “evil” of socialism has been marketed. It’s been nothing more than a tool in the hands of the most powerful, and since that power is fueled by money, it’s no coincidence that the wealthiest are the most powerful as a rule. Not that all wealthy people necessarily feel this way, but in general the idea is resentment towards anyone telling these rich and powerful people with whom and how much they have to support the society off of which they have made their millions.

Secondly, capitalism has also been falsely but successfully marketed by those same people with wealth and power. We do not live in a purely capitalistic society, nor have we ever. We have always lived in a capitalistic leaning system heavily tempered by socialism. Public education, police, firemen, emergency services, clinics, even roadways (especially interstates, which were not only nationally financed, but instituted by Republican president Eisenhower no less) all come out of tax dollars at various levels – not to mention FEMA, social security, welfare, disability etc.

So what we really have been arguing about is not, when properly viewed, socialism versus capitalism, because the dirty secret the rich and powerful DON’T want you to know is that pure capitalism will leave most people absolutely destitute in many ways. What we are arguing over is merely how far in which direction the pendulum should be swinging.

That pendulum is currently on a rightward swing, not just politically, but economically. Redistribution of wealth is real, but again, the marketing of the concept conveniently excludes historical fact: It occurred in the past 45 years, when the money WENT from the middle class, redistributed upwards to the folks who were already holding the most. Now those same people cry how bad RE-redistribution is because it is a threat to their power base, but they cloak it as a manifestation of evil socialism.

Liberals – I will dispense with the Democrat label here – favor not only social justice, but economic justice as well. That in a nutshell is the fear of the wealthiest and most powerful people and directly behind the false marketing and identification of what the terms socialism and capitalism mean, and what will happen if we head in the only direction ensuring the best odds of a long lasting civilization: justice for all.